The Quiet Adversary

“I do not set out to conquer Nature, to subdue it. I want to be part of it, to survive within it. I have no desire in me to overcome the river, there is nothing in me which expresses itself as a challenge.”
-Antonius Moscal

Dead Stags. Pentax MX, Kodak Image Pro 100, May 2025.

“For me the attraction of wilderness is not escapism, but to satisfy my curiosity.”
-Antonius Moscal

The mountain awaits. Pentax MX, Kodak Image Pro 100, May 2025.

“I see god in nature and as I’m part of nature, I’m part of god also.”
-Antonius Moscal, Franklin River Journey (1980).

Sunset on the Lake. Pentax MX, Kodak Image Pro 100, May 2025.

“A river is conquered not when it’s paddled, but when it is damned.”
-Andy Szollosi

Magenta Sunset. Pentax MX, Kodak Image Pro 100, May 2025.

Living the dream

Scene at the bottle-O:

Me: How’s things?
Bottle-O guy : I’m living the dream.
Me: You’re living the dream?
Bottle-O guy: There are probably a billion people whose dream is to live my life. I am not one of them.
Me:…

Barn Bluff, April 2025, Pentax MX, Ilford XP2 Super.

“Even in the most dreary situation you keep your eyes on where you want to be.”

-Rockwell Kent

Flying. April 2025, Pentax MX, Ilford XP2 Super. Photo by Amy Hamilton.

“If you think you know what your life has in store for you, you are probably wrong.”
-Andy Szollosi.

Sitting, smiling. April 2025, Pentax MX, Ilford XP2 Super.

“And the goal in life is to be in harmony with yourself and find your route. We’re not here to force other people to follow our route. I found my route, you found your route and everybody finds his or her own route. Then you can become yourself, not somebody else. So in parkour, really the main thing is to concentrate, to figure out what you want to do in life, where you want to go in life, to give yourself all the tools to get there, to not listen to people, unless it’s when people have positive comments and are commenting to help you move ahead. Don’t listen to the rest. And you advance.”
-David Belle, founder of parkour.

Mountain and Tarn, April 2025, Pentax MX, Ilford XP2 Super.

Fagus

Also known as deciduous beech, tanglefoot or nothofagus gunnii. It is a deciduous tree that grows in lutruwita’s highlands. Its leaves have beautiful colours when they turn in autumn.

Fagus, Central Highlands, Pentax MX, Ilford XP2 Super, Apr 2025.

What is also remarkable about these leaves are the geometric grooves that are embedded in them. They are kind of similar to crinkle cut chips, although that description doesn’t really do them justice. The fagus leaves have a central line along their length, and all groves radiate out from this central line. The leaves are no bigger than a person’s thumbnail.

Clearing mist with scattered tanglefoot, Central Highlands, Pentax MX, Ilford XP2 Super, Apr 2025.

The fagus has adapted to Tasmania’s highlands, to extreme cold. I think of them as the best friend of the ancient Pencil Pines. I have often seen fagus position itself around those old pines, almost as if to form a protective barrier around them.

Nothofagus gunnii. Pentax MX, Ilford XP2 Super, Apr 2025.

Late April is usually a good time to see the turning of the fagus, as the tiny leaves turn to orange, red, then to rust, brown and eventually fall off the tree and collect on the ground, where they are often frozen and covered by snow.

I was lucky enough to see some of it turning this year.But I felt a bit unlucky when I discovered I had black and white film loaded into my camera at the time.

-A.S. 13/6/25, Brushy Creek, nipaluna / Hobart, lutruwita / Tasmania.

Up in the paddocks

“Why do we seek the wilderness? - one day I will answer.”

Eucalypt Forest near Mersey River. Pentax MX, Ilford XP2 super, March 2025.

Never mind, the never-never,
trickles down cliffs
Onto wide open plains.

Bluff above river. Pentax MX, Ilford XP2 Super, March 2025.

The wombat waddled,
Our guests ate scones and waffled,
Birds amused, whistled.

The Nipple. Pentax MX, Ilford XP2 Super, March 2025.

All quotes in this post are from one of my journals, written in 2017.

-A.S. 5/6/2025, Brushy Creek.

Suffering in Paradise

"You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read." - James Baldwin

Deep cut in cliff. Pentax MX, Ilford XP2, April 2025.

I think suffering is good for the soul. It creates depth, feeling, understanding, and of course, pain. And when the pain stops, the world appears quite vibrant, alive, wonderful. That is the best thing about suffering. The bit when it ends.

Afternoon light in river valley. Pentax MX, Ilford XP2 Super, April 2025.

Wild places often extract a toll from the visitor. Often it will be in the form of obstacles presented to us, and often in the shape of obstacles we didn’t expect. Despite our best preparation, the place may make us suffer. The place may make us pay for our mistakes. If we leave our boots out in the cold, they will freeze. And if we are out in the wild, even if they freeze, we will still have to wear them.

Wild places are inspiring, rugged and beautiful. They are also unforgiving and impartial to our existence and suffering.

If we are arrogant, dominating, and underestimate the challenges the place may present to us, we are more likely to suffer than if we go in prepared, and with humility. We must show the place respect. For me, this means taking the place on its own terms.

To take the place on its own terms means not to seek its transformation in order for our visitation to take place. It is also acknowledging that visitation may have certain impacts, which may degrade the landscape. So there is eternal tension there, and the challenge is finding the middle road.

How much modification of the original environment is appropriate in order to facilitate visitation?

If we wish to transform a place, to suit our needs, we have begun an interaction with it. The nature of the interaction is a reflection on us as people. What kind of effect will my interaction evoke in the landscape?

Edge of Plateau, panorama.Pentax MX, Ilford XP2 Super, April 2025.

Sometimes I ask myself, am I a visitor here, or a custodian?

One may venture that a custodian spends a lot of time in a place in order to understand it, to learn its ways and its needs. A visitor is someone who comes once and may never come again. A custodian is someone who returns time and time again, and notices the changes that have taken place.

But the beauty of visitation is that all custodians were visitors once. At some point, people ventured somewhere new and a foreign environment and slowly, they formed a connection with it, and eventually the place started to feel like their home.

One of Tasmania’s most visited mountains. Pentax MX, Ilford XP2 Super, April 2025.

…they paved paradise, put up a parking lot’.

- Big Yellow Taxi, Joni Mitchell,

A.S.- Brushy Creek, 31/5/24

Left Behind

Don’t forget the most important thing…

Eucalyptus Delicatensis + Waterfall. Hasselblad 500CM, Portra 400, March 2025.

Lists are fantastic things. If everything I need for a trip is written on a list, and I cross each item off as it goes into my pack and at the end everything is crossed out then I know everything I need is going to be in my pack and will be coming with me on my trip. This is a well tested and reliable method and fits within the 6ps of good performance, or in this context, good outdoor leadership: prior preparation prevents piss poor performance! In an ideal world, this is the process I would follow to pack for every single trip.

Naturally, this is rarely the case.

First, there is the challenge of making the perfect list. Second there is the challenge of having time to make a list at all. Third, after lots of practice, it is easy to convince myself that I don’t need a list at all: that I can remember every single item I need to have for my trip! And to be honest, most times this actually works out okay. But every now and then, let’s face it, human nature means we make mistakes. Even when we don’t expect to. We forget and we stuff up and we have to live with not having some items we really really wish we had!

Waterfall + Ferns. Hasselblad 500CM, Portra 400, March 2025.

I mean in some ways, leaving items behind can make us rather creative. This week I forgot to pack my inflatable seat for my packraft for a paddle down the Picton River. So I figured out that putting my dry bag with the repair kit inside my pack and sitting on that actually makes a pretty good seat. Which made me discover that dry bags under pressure behave differently to dry bags not under pressure. The dry bag had about a pint of water in it at the end of the day! I swear I rolled the top three times! But it is okay, I have finally managed to dry everything off and tomorrow we go on the river again. And this time I am packing my seat!

Mt Pelion East. Hasselblad 500CM, Portra 400, March 2025.

One of my favourite guiding stories involve a pair of boots. About ten years ago one of the new bushwalking guides on the Overland Track was doing their ‘famil’ trip, which means they go along as an extra or third guide on the trip to learn the ropes. And this guide, well she grabbed her pair of boots from the hallway of her sharehouse in the dark to drive up nice and early to meet the guests. She had two boots, which seemed quite satisfactory. Until she got to the trailhead at Waldheim with the guests and went to put them on, only to discover that she had two left boots! Oops. She grabbed one of her boots and one of her housemate’s boots from the hallway! So she couldn’t go on the trip and ended up having to go back home on the bus. With her two left boots.

Grazing Plains. Hasseblad 500CM, Portra 400, March 2025.

Then there was the time we went on a bushwalk with my brother and my dad many years ago in Hungary. The idea was to go on a short walk, then have a picnic and build a campfire and roast some bacon over the fire. But we got quite lost, and I remember walking for hours, getting quite weary and looking forward to lunch. But when we eventually stopped to eat, Dad realised he left the bacon at home in the fridge. Along with the sausages.
Well at least we had pickled cucumbers and some bread.

I guess it could have been worse.

-A.S. 24.5.2025

Finding One's Way

To find the way, one must loose the way.

Morning mist, dolerite peak. Hasselblad 500CM, Portra 400, April 2025.

I have never considered myself to have a good sense of direction. The amount of times I have been lost, or chosen to go the wrong way are a testament to this.

My first memory of being lost in the bush was on the northern circuit of Wilson’s Prom. Back then I really was a bit green when it came to outdoor pursuits, but the notion that my lack of experience should disqualify me from attempting what was classed as a ‘remote and poorly marked trail for experienced walkers only’ did not occur to me. I barged ahead, and got myself lost in the scrub on the plains, with no visible landmarks, despite the route having a decent pad and being marked with pink tape nonetheless. I walked around in circles for about five hours. At one point the river scrub got so thick I had to fall onto it backwards with my pack to knock it down so I could step on it. I did have a map and compass, but without the landmarks they weren’t much help. In the end I crossed the marked route by accident, and I was able to stay on the trail for the rest of the trip. It was a humbling experience, and I remember feeling victorious when I eventually completed the hike on the third day.

Years later I remember losing the Moses Creek track on my first attempt towards Cathedral Mountain in the Walls. I ended up pushing on well past any point where there may have been a hope of actually being on a pad of any sort, and kept climbing up this hill toward what I thought was the right direction. When I eventually checked the map and ascertained my position with a compass using triangulation, I discovered I had gone well off route and would have to walk about two and a half kilometres cross country to get back on the track. Naturally, it took quite a bit longer than I expected. About four hours from memory. There were a number of gullies I had to cross and quite a few tea tree thickets. In the end I was content to have made it to Chapter Lake by nightfall, which is usually a cruisy three hour walk. It took me all day.

Then there was my first attempt to walk out to Federation Peak. I had only three days so I thought I would have a crack at a fast and light mindset trip, which is not usually my style. Things went quite well for the first couple of hours. But upon reaching the first saddle from where the track descends to the Cracroft River, I followed a taped route that led me into some thick rainforest, only for the tape to eventually abandon me in the scrub somewhere on the Cracroft plains. Still, there was a descent footpad so I decided to follow it. Eventually I figured out that this was not the Eastern Arthurs Traverse, but the old track to Judd’s Cavern. By the time I made this realisation it was too late for me to backtrack and get to Cutting Camp that day, where I needed to be if I was going to have a crack at Federation Peak on that trip. So my first trip to Federation Peak was actually a trip to Judd’s Cavern.

It is worth noting that in all these cases I followed my intuition, and while it often led me away from my intended route, it did lead me to make discoveries which I wouldn’t have made otherwise. But it is also worth noting that the map and compass and technical navigation skills helped me find my way back to my intended route and eventually out of the wilderness in all these cases. Without these tools and skills I might still be out there walking around in circles, scratching my head!

Decidious Beech in glacial bowl. Hasselblad 500CM, Portra 400, April 2025.

While I don’t think my sense of direction is particularly good, neither is it terrible overall. Certainly with years of practice, it has gotten a lot better. But the reason I have gotten lost over the years is probably because I don’t really mind being lost.

In some ways, the way can only be found if the way is lost. To truly learn how to pay attention carefully over the course of many hours, one must first learn exactly how much of a pain in the ass it is to let the concentration lapse and lose one’s way out in the bush. To learn how not to make mistakes, we must first make all the mistakes. In my case, because I am a slow learner in a lot of ways, I need to make the same mistakes a number of times before I eventually learn how to avoid them.

And then there are greater philosophical questions around finding one’s way, especially out in the wild places. A lot of my trips have a specific destination, or goal in mind. A trip is generally considered a success if the ‘objective’ or ‘destination’ is reached along the route intended. And if not, then the trip is considered a ‘failed attempt’. But slowly and surely my attitude in this regard is starting to shift. I try to hold my awareness a bit more open these days. The more firmly we hold our objective in mind, the more blind we become to the surrounding landscape around us. The more fixated we get on reaching our destination, the more our destination continues to elude us. And here I mean destination in a metaphorical sense; not only a physical place, but rather, a state of mind that comes with arriving to the place we were meant to find. Discoveries are made with an open mind.

Best Friends- Fagus and Pencil Pine. Hasselblad 500CM, Portra 400, April 2025.

-A.S. 17th of May 2025, Sandy Bay, Nipaluna / Hobart, Lutruwita /Tasmania.

The Turning

As the fagus turns and the autumn days shorten towards the winter solstice, I realise we have arrived to the end of another season, another cycle. This signifies another loop around the sun, with us riding on planet Earth, oblivious of the fact we are hurtling through space at an astonishing speed.

Another year of life has passed, making mistakes, experiencing joy, sorrow, and learning a bit more about how the world all fits together. With the turning, I hope we have gotten wiser and at least somewhat less likely to make the same mistakes all over again.

I will leave you with some quotes I have recorded in my journal this year on a theme that has relevance to all of us: love.

Happy Mother’s Day!

-A.S. 10th of May, 2025, Brushy Creek.

Fagus, Alpine Plateau, Central Highlands. Hasselblad 500CM, Portra 400, April 2025.

“Mature love is union under the condition of preserving one’s integrity, one’s individuality.”
- Erich Fromm

Plateau’s Edge, right. Hasselblad 500CM, Portra 400, April 2025.

“There is not much we know for sure, but one certainty that will never abandon us is that we must remain with what is difficult. It is good to be alone, because being alone is hard; the fact that something is hard is one more reason for us to do it. Loving, too is good- because love is hard. For one person to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult thing we are asked to do, the ultimate task, the final test and proof, the work for which all other work is a mere preparation.”

-R.M. Rilke, Letter 7 to Franz Kappus, 1904

Plateau’s Edge, left. Hasselblad 500CM, Portra 400, April 2025.

“The Love that moves the Sun and the other stars.”

-Dante

Plateau’s Edge, Panorama. Hasselblad 500CM, Portra 400, April 2025.

Relation

“I relate, therefore I am.”

-Ruth Langford, Hope in Crises Forum

Eucalypts near Mersey River. Pentax MX, Kodak Image Pro 100, March 2025.

“The world that we know, that relates to us, that interests us, what we call ‘reality’ is the vast web of interacting entities, of which we are a part, that manifest themselves by interacting with each other…”

- Carlo Rovelli, Helgoland

Last light among the trees. Pentax MX, Kodak Image Pro 100, March 2025.

“The properties of an object are the way in which it acts upon other objects, reality is this web of interactions.”

-Carlo Rovelli, Helgoland

In the forest. Pentax MX, Kodak Image Pro, March 2025.

"When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the Universe."

-John Muir

Canoe shaped scar in tree. Pentax MX, Kodak Image Pro 100, March 2025.

The choice is yours

“We are Nature. Long have we been absent, but now we return.”

- Walt Whitman

Hill above the Mersey. Pentax MX, Kodak Image Pro 100, March 2025.

I have been pretty depressed about the state of the world of late. In particular I have been appalled at the lack of good leadership both in Australia and abroad. With the federal election coming up, I was left with pondering the question of whether there is any chance of positive change, when so many elections in the past have failed us, the people. In particular, I fell into the trap of viewing the outcome as pre-determined: one of the two major parties were bound to take majority, in one way or another. And neither parties seem aware of the direction that our nation needs to take, for the health of people and for custodianship of country, the earth, the waters and air. What good will my vote really do, when there is bound to be no change for the better, when it comes to the things that matter to me?

Mersey above Rowallan. Pentax MX, Kodak Image Pro 100, March 2025.

I got my postal vote ballots in the mail the other day. I opened the envelope and found two ballots inside. One had five choices, this was for the house of representatives. The second ballot was for the senate, and on this I could either vote above or below the line. Above the line, I’d vote for parties, and below the line I’d vote for individuals who represent those parties. I chose to vote below the line, because I knew who would get my number one vote as an individual. This meant I had to place numbers from 1-12. I did a bit of reading up on the internet. And I was pleasantly surprised.

Oxley Falls, Mersey River. Pentax MX, Kodak Image Pro 100, March 2025.

Some of the minor parties had remarkably good policies. As did some of the independents. And I found myself thinking, herein lies the future of our nation, Australia. It lies in the leaders who listen to the people, and aren’t corrupted by greed or power.

Mersey River. Pentax MX, Kodak Image Pro 100, March 2025.

The outcome of the election is not pre-determined. There are people out there who have got their heads screwed on straight. And they are not robots. They are real people, dedicating their life to being good leaders. Leaders our country needs. Leaders the people need.

In one week’s time, our country will have voted, more or less. This is democracy. The people choose. And this time, I choose to believe in the people of Australia. May they choose well.

-A.S. 26/4/25, Brushy Creek.